2012 CUP CAKE CLASSIC
JANUARY 2ND, 2012
Arnold Palmer Crazy Golf Course, Hastings Seafront
 
For full results click here and photos from the competition click here

Less than 36 hours into 2012, foolhardy crazygolfers arrived at Hastings to contest the 4^th annual Cup Cake Classic. The tournament with more food than Tesco was the ideal friendly event to kick-off the new minigolf season. Ten KMGC players were battling it out for the non-existent trophy, ranking points and prize money. But the winner would receive an extra cup cake and that unique prize would surely be the icing on the cake!

So as 12 minigolfers plus specially invited guests Father Christmas and Ebenezer Scrooge prepared to battle it out, minds were cast back to the 3^rd Cup Cake Classic. Twelve months earlier, TK Max had scored sixteen aces in just three rounds and The Force shot rounds of 30, 33 and 30 for a 5 shot victory without dropping a single shot. Whilst that display of brilliance was unlikely to be matched, several questions remained. Who would triumph in 2012? Could all the KMGC players escape the efficient traffic wardens and eerily accurate seagulls? And would AK47 end the day back in Linton or be hauled off to the Hastings police station after his antics last October? It was time to find out.

 

“First ace of 2011!” – AK47 is so excited by acing hole 13 he travels back in time.

Round 1 began with a ‘Shotgun rolling start’ according to Captain Freebird with most groups starting from the middle of the course. With players only having an hour to practice before the tournament, scoring was understandably average in round 1 with two notable exceptions. WMD set the early pace with an outstanding 30.

Leading the way for the KMGC was TK Max or Scrooge, once again playing his best minigolf in Hastings. TK Max only dropped 2 shots in 7 rounds at the 2011 World Crazies and that statistic became 2 shots in 8 rounds after a faultless first round that included aces on holes 4, 9 and 16. The stage was set for another epic Kelly battle. AK47 or Father Christmas went -4 for his round after an ace at 13 and a great hat-trick at holes 15, 16 and 17. A 4 at hole 2 was a setback but he ended with a 34.

There was not too much excitement elsewhere in round 1. The Force and HIOK both scored 2 aces and dropped one shot for rounds of 35 whilst Perfect Par and Donkey Gringo scored three aces and three threes for  not-quite-perfect rounds of 36.

Mr X scored 3 aces but 4 dropped shots including a 4 at the 14^th gave him a 37. That was 2 shots better than Freebird who scored the rarest of ace-less rounds with a 3 at hole 18 and a 4 at the 15^th to card a 39. He was not amused to find out he was one shot behind Double Trouble. She scored consecutive aces at holes 12 and 13, but a 5 at the 17^th and a 3 at the 18^th gave her a 38.

Yet the biggest fireworks of round 1 came from The Hurricane. He may have dropped sixteen shots including a 6 at the 14^th, but he out-aced Great Britain’s three best players with an outstanding 3 aces at holes 3, 16 and 18!

 

“Bah humbug!” – Has TK Max found that the secret to minigolf success is all in the head? Or in this case, the hat…

After eating a delicious selection of food including sausage rolls, muffins, biscuits, cup cakes, several other things, and best of all, twiglets, the players were well-fed and ready to climb the leaderboard. With WMD only scoring a 35 in round 2, it was time for the KMGC to make their move.

Scrooge played one of the best rounds of his life. Starting from hole 8, he scored early aces at holes 10, 13, and 14 before an incredible 4 consecutive aces on holes 16 through 1 put him -7 with 6 holes still to play. Three more aces would give him a new course record of 26. Sadly those aces didn’t come. Then on hole 6 his ball was unlucky to finish on top of the ridge and a tentative putt lipped out that would cost him a 4. He ended with an excellent 31 whilst Mr X kept his course record.

Big Top Ted, The Force, HIOK and AK47 all scored 33s in the second round. Both Tottenham fans scored clean sheets with AK47’s aces coming at 12, 16 and 18 and The Force scoring aces at 12, 14 and 17.

Mr X scored a second four of his day, this time at the 7^th. He also dropped a shot at the 2^nd but three aces at holes 1, 16 and 18 earned him a 36. That was the same score achieved by Perfect Par who lived up to his nickname on 14 holes. The highlight of The Hurricane’s second round was an impressive 5 straight pars on holes 13 through 17. That run of holes showed some great potential though 17 dropped shots elsewhere suggests that he is not always listening to Mr X’s coaching.

Freebird started to take control in the battle for Homer Towers bragging rights. He dropped 4 shots including a hat-trick of 3s at holes 13 through 15 but aces at holes 3 and 12 gave him a 38. Double Trouble was once again just one hole away from a very good round. A perfect par at the 6^th would have given her a 37 but she took a 7 for a round of 42. Speaking of 7s, Donkey Gringo scored one for himself at the 14^th. That score combined with a 4 at hole 10 gave him a 40 despite three aces at holes 12, 13 and 16.

 

“It’s only the f****** Cup Cake Classic!” – AK47 thinks TK Max is taking the competition a bit too seriously when TK is unsure about whether his ball or WMD’s is nearer on hole 14.

The last round was played using the special crazy crazy rules with the 14 competitors split into two groups of 4 and two groups of 3 based on leaderboard order. There was plenty of excellent pinball skill on show though the highlight of the round was undoubtedly when a pen dropped down onto hole 4, narrowly missing WMD’s ball.

Apart from a half century from Johnson Paul Johnson the headlines from the final two groups were some eXcellent play from Freebird and Mr X. Freebird only dropped one shot at the 7^th and aces at holes 1, 4, 13 and 16 gave him a 33. Mr X produced a flawless crazy crazy performance with zero dropped shots and aces at holes 1, 4, 9, 16 and 17 for a brilliant 31.

Big Top, who unveiled a curious new handshake before the last round, was the winner in the penultimate group. He dropped a shot at the 10^th but two aces on 4 and 12 gave him a 35. The Force scored consecutive 4s on holes 2 and 3 before ominously announcing he was intending to ‘have fun’ for the rest of the round.

Going into the last round, AK47 was on -5, WMD -7, and TK Max led on -8. The standard wasn’t great. WMD aced the first but dropped shots at 8 and 9 to slip back to -6 after 10 holes. AK47 had the worst possible start with a dropped shot at hole 1 and two further dropped shots at holes 7 and 10 put him back to -2. It was there for TK Max to take control but he wasn’t quite able to. An ace at hole 8 cancelled out a dropped shot at the 2^nd but a 3 at the 10^th took him back to -7 with 8 holes left.

HIOK found scored early aces on holes 1 and 4. A 3 the 9^th was cancelled out by an ace at hole 11 and he moved to -6. But just when he needed it, TK Max found his best form. Consecutive aces at holes 12 and 13 put him 3 shots clear and another pair of consecutive aces at 17 and 18 was a brilliant finish to a brilliant tournament for TK Max.

The most consistent player of the day was Perfect Par. Three aces at holes 1, 6 and 12 cancelled out a 3 at the 2^nd and a 4 at hole 11. He was level par with six holes to play. What happened next? Yes, that’s right, six perfect pars. That gave Perfect Par three rounds of 36 and an impressive 108 total. What a start to the year for the new Ace Man. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

So after 3 rounds of avoiding the police, eating cupcakes, trying to avoid fingers turning blue and plenty of crazy golf in-between, the final scores were as follows: The Hurricane finished 14^th on 148 with Double Trouble 11^th on 123. Donkey Gringo was 10^th on 114 with Freebird 9^th on 110 and The Force 8^th on 109. Perfect Par was 7^th on 108 with AK47 6^th on 107 and HIOK 5^th on 105. Big Top and Mr X tied on 104 to share 3^rd place with WMD 2^nd on 101. But winner by 4 shots on 97 was TK Max!

Winning isn’t everything of course but TK Max was clearly delighted to achieve his first minigolf title! This was a richly deserved victory for his endless enthusiasm for minigolf, particularly after his very near miss at the World Crazies and all his good play and 3 International caps last year.

So that brought to the end of a fun day’s minigolf and a perfect, some would say Perfect Par, way to start the New Year. Any winter rust has hopefully been shaken off, especially for those players attempting to battle Captain Ruthers and Who for the Star City Open.

Many questions have been raised from the 2012 Cup Cake Classic. Namely: how many 36s can Perfect Par score in a row? With such an elderly top 4, is 2012 going to be the year where experience and wisdom once again rules on tour? How has Santa lost so much weight so quickly? Will TK Max follow in The Force’s footsteps by winning the British Masters and British Open this year? Will AK47, HIOK and Johnson Paul Johnson be consistently beaten by TK Max, WMD and Jackpot at minigolf? Or will the top four resume normal service at Star City? Finally, has TK Max consumed his trophy yet?

 

Until the Star City Open: BAH HUMBUG!